gigapalooza

There are a lot of things I would consider to be worth £179.99. For instance a leather sofa sold to me in monthly instalments by a perma-tanned former member of Spandau Ballet, or a month’s rent on a no-bathroomed bedsit in Kensington. But standing tickets to see MGMT at Shepherds Bush Empire? I don’t think so. In a global recession not really understood by any, save the facts that one can no longer shop at Waitrose and Christmas will be courtesy of Argos, the belt tightening has begun and with the price of gigs skyrocketing the music industry could be in for some major changes.

There are a number of reasons as to why gig tickets are so flipping expensive in today’s world, (ticket prices in the US are rising faster than inflation itself don’t cha know). The first is due to something a Princeton University based Professor Krueger likes to call The Bowie Theory, I know right? How much more attention would you have paid in science if it incorporated names like that? In 2002 David Bowie aptly foreshadowed the current issues facing the music economy stating that ‘music itself is going to become like running water or electricity,’ a nod to the vast quantities of free and easily obtainable music available via the internet. With CD sales falling faster than Labour’s approval ratings the only way left for acts to make money are through live performances, hence the unreasonable hike in ticket prices. £160 plus £13 booking fee for aging leotard-fan Madonna anyone?

The other, more obvious reason behind the increasing prices of tickets is one that every music fan has been a victim of at some point; ticket touts. The invention of Ebay created a million amateur touts who leave gigs sold out in minutes with the tickets then being sold on for over double their face value. Although the creation of sites such as Scarletmist.com and Stoptout.com seek to combat the problem, they provide no guarantee as to the validity of the seller and in the case of Stoptout.com take a ten percent commission charge.

In this state of recession, students, putting aside the zero job prospects and lack of pensions we have to look forward to, have probably got the best deal. Everyone is losing money, but as we had none to begin with, we are hardly any worse off. However, given the society of lemmings that we are, one must follow suit, so cut back we will. And the solution? Scrap the corporate sponsored gigs. Are you really going to get any enjoyment out of watching Goldfrapp semi-pissed on watery beer, dancing next to Ken and Sarah from accounting? A full £28.50’s worth of enjoyment? No, so give up, downscale, move towards smaller venues with lesser known bands, at £5 entrance fees and cheap drinks what does it matter if the band are rubbish? At least you’ll know by the time they come around to play Brixton Academy, saving you a whole bundle of money. And who knows, through the dire sound systems and meagre crowds you might just find something actually worth listening to.

i don't like children

Why do all parents think their children are adorable? They’re not. Sitting on a train whilst two noisy children point out absolutely everything that goes past the window whilst their doe-eyed parents gaze lovingly over their heads at each other, clearly sharing the same whispered, incredulous thought, ‘I can’t believe we created these.’ Well, believe it. And deal with it. No-one else finds your children’s primal antics to be those of an undiscovered genius. To ninety-nine percent of parents: your children are normal, average; they are not going to change the world or become world leaders.

To the few exceptions who do actually possess a child prodigy: apologies.

WIIKapedia

Procrastination. Prroo-crraass-tinn-ation. I have spent the entire afternoon on Wikipedia. Let it be clear, this was not for educational purposes, it was merely preferable to 4000 words concerning Brecht’s ties to Expressionism. I am now, as of this afternoon, an aficionado on Ted Bundy, Zoo Magazine, the Allied Forces of WWI, Hieronymous Bosch, Har Mar Superstar, Hercule Poirot, The Chronicles of Narnia; Prince Caspian, both book and film adaptation, Robert Mugabe, Bedales School, the Order of the Skull and Bones, MTV’s The Real World and Tibet. I have looked up Wikipedia on Wikipedia, I have looked up nothing, that is to say I have found out what happens when you type nothing in and just hit search. I have looked up everything that I possibly could without searching for something I need to know. I am not going to be proud of this when I fail the year.