21 November 2008

just for a tonight from several months ago

One Night Only; Push, Astoria 2
One Night Only, never before has a name encompassed so much interminable irony. Looking uneasy without their safety-net target audience normally composed of fifteen-year-old beauties of indeterminable sex and Hoxton haircuts, the Yorkshire band are out of their depth in this over-18’s nightclub. It is never going to be easy to win over a crowd of inebriated revellers on a Saturday night whose dancing tunes have been extinguished in an attempt to force them to watch you. ONO are painfully aware of this fact and the band’s jazzy attire and freshly buffed winklepickers do little to distract from the looks of panic, (or was that boredom?)on their faces as they take to the stage. Comprised of five spritely teenagers, with the preposterously beautiful lead singer George Craig perhaps providing a clue to the mystery of their 27,000 Myspace friends, the band stumble their way through their short set without an ounce of emotion; even after their first single Just for Tonight rewards them with several twitters of recognition from the dwindling crowd. Onstage there are no smiles, no outlandish stage antics, no light-hearted banter to do the job their music can’t. It’s worth mentioning that in consequence, the audience is possibly the most unresponsive ever recorded in history. There is not so much as a solitary mosh-pit aficionado to be seen, let alone people fighting for the coveted position against the front railings. Ah, so they’re only young, you say. Give them a chance? In today’s fast paced world of music there are not only a million bands that are doing it better, there are a million bands that are doing it better and are even younger. There is no room for error; it is no longer enough to be a sharply dressed, pretty face in the unforgiving milieu of new music. And, if they’ve any sense, the younger crowd’s opinion will soon echo the disdainful judgment of the audience members at Push. One Night Only? Here’s hoping.

control the noise

Noise Control-Steel
Top marks to the record producer who realised that electro was on the verge of taking over identikit indie bands; why not fuse the two together? Well, fuse he has in the shape of Dublin fivesome Noise Control who’s single ‘Steel’ serves to prove the unfortunate issue that the quality of music is no longer as important as the money that follows. The group that has been hailed as the love child of Underworld and The Prodigy is enough to leave music fans in a cold sweat about the future of dance. The harsh and confusing mishmash of ‘Steel’ is an obvious yet ingenious ploy to cover as many genres as possible to reel in the most gullible advocates of all scenes. Is it drum and bass? Is it rock? Who knows, but my god lets take MDMA, live for the weekend, chew through our own lips, and dance whilst looking like utter pricks.

WORSTival...ha...ha...hmm. sorry

Britain, ever the laughing stock of it’s European neighbours, is often mocked for it’s somewhat trying climate. The British have developed such a blasé attitude to their notoriously wet summers that rain is rarely able to spoil any event. Unfortunately for revellers headed southwards to the Isle of Wight’s Bestival, the tempestuous weather so far surpassed any expectations of an English summer that even the most hardened festival goers were tested.
For the past four years, Bestival, a product of DJ Rob Da Bank and his Sunday Best label has gone from strength to strength, earning it’s place among the top festivals in an increasingly full market. Small but significant touches keep the festival’s vibe individual, but even a breast-feeding area named ‘Breastival’ couldn’t cover up the grave oversights made by the organisers. By the time people arrived late on Thursday, hurricane force winds and torrential rain had already churned Robin Hill Park into a quagmire impossible to navigate, made less helpful by the confused stewards, seemingly unable to distinguish the whereabouts of any of the camping grounds, or more worryingly, the medical tent.
Those brave enough to venture out from the safety of their tents to catch the likes of their favourite lesser known or new acts such as Lykke Li or Metronomy on the BBC Introducing Stage were thrilled to find the stage had sunk into a watery grave rendering all acts cancelled until further notice. A similar policy followed on Saturday night when all acts past 7:30 mysteriously failed to materialize.
Disorganization of bands was a running theme throughout the festival. Saturday came with the slow realisation that someone, somewhere, had taken it upon themselves to move all bands on the main stage forward by an hour. Unfortunately for Bestival organisers, their foolproof method for enlightening people to this fact; one drunk pirate stumbling through crowds of thirty thousand with a sign, failed miserably, and resulted in many missing key acts they came especially to see.
Luckily on Friday night the rain held off just long enough for the atmospheric My Bloody Valentine to take the stage. A long summer of festivals had not affected the energy of the newly reformed band in the slightest and their fifteen minute wall of sound managed to excite even the most downhearted of the audience. Over in the Big Top tent the fantastic Ladyhawke and Santogold successfully flew the flag for those few female musicians left without a Brit School diploma and both delivered stunning sets. As evening wore on, the mud continued to rise and the rain again began to fall as the night descended into a filthy mess of fiendish electro courtesy of Erol Alkan and Chromeo.
To those who had survived through to Saturday morning after a night of Mother Nature’s worst it was clear from empty patches of grass around the campsites that Bestival had proved too much for many. However with the report (untrue) that the worst of the weather was over and with Saturday being Bestival’s famous day of fancy dress, things began to look up. The unfortunate irony of the theme, ‘30,000 Freaks under the Sea,’ was lost on no-one.
Saturday saw a big line up for the Main Stage. An erratic and frankly terrifying Gary Numan embodied the plight of an aging one-hit wonder clinging on to his last ounce of glory (with fabulous results) and brought a smile, albeit one of ridicule, to the mud soaked crowd. The mood only continued to lift as ‘Special Guests’ turned out to be The Specials, billed as Terry Hall and Friends in the absence of Jerry Dammers, who bounced their way through old favourites ‘A Message to you Rudy’ and ‘Too Much Too Young.’ Continuing along on the theme of comeback bands, The Human League, a vision of eighties pop in a whirl of pink and sequins, hairspray and inoffensive melodies proved that they still had it. And just in case anyone still cares, yes Amy Winehouse came, yes, she made everyone wait for over an hour, no, she didn’t complete a full set, and yes she snarled profanities at the audience before stumbling offstage, the end.
After an obscure and somewhat disappointing set by Aphex Twin and the chilling realisation that the campsite bore an uncanny resemblance to The Somme with people dropping like flies at every step, it became clear that things had gone too far. The momentary magic brought on by a single sighting of blue sky earlier in the day and an evening of nostalgic music was gone, and things again became unbearably hopeless. There were grim nods and looks of defeat; it was time to go home... And so, Sunday morning, ignoring the promise of Underworld later that evening, many began the long march home, back to a roof over their heads, baths, and warm beds; an untimely end to a potentially marvellous weekend.

20 November 2008

18 November 2008

i'm going out for a while (so i can get high with my friends)

I do actually have a rather wonderful job. Minimum wage is more than made up for by the incentive to see bands for free at Brixton Academy. Last night was a transportation back to teenage years, when everybody skateboarded, (heaven is a halfpipe of course) baggy jeans were in and weed was the drug of choice; Feeder played. Don’t get me wrong, Feeder post their drummer’s demise were not what they once were. Their airwave friendly tunes took them out of the realm of Wheatus and Sum 41 and into the category of Athlete and Embrace (remember them?) BUT back in the day drinking cider in the park and hanging around the town centre on weekends was nothing without a soundtrack of ‘Buck Rogers’ and ‘Just a Day’. So despite all the slightly unfortunate people who chose to ignore the unsaid rule not to wear a band’s t-shirt to their gigs, last night was a thoroughly welcome trip down nostalgia lane.

neverEVERland


Nevereverland-Coronet-Nov 15th 2008
If the Fosters barrel runs dry within an hour, you know you have far too many Aussies in one place. Australian festival Nevereverland's night in London boasted a killer line-up plus seven deep bar queues and toilets worse than Glasto. The few brave and courageous Brits who managed to navigate the largest population of inebriated individuals this side of the globe were aptly rewarded with some rather spectaular performances from Ladyhawke, Shy Child and Aussie natives The Presets whose psychadelic techno laughed in the face of Justice and highlighted a conspicuous absence of anything even close in quality hailing from our British isle.

excuses excuses.....

I was entirely suspicious this week when a letter arrived with the official Goldsmith’s stamp emblazoned across the envelope. The only times the university actually manages to be systematic enough to send out official post to you is either when they are requesting money, (such as the seventy pounds mysteriously appealed for last week citing some sort of administration fees) or if you’re in trouble. Luckily for my pitiable student loan, it was the latter. Apparently my attendance had not been up to par and I was one step away from an official warning. I was outraged; the main point to university is to miss one or two lectures here and there. Surely it’s the only time in life when a sick day a week is acceptable? Besides I didn’t think I’d done too badly at the whole demanding deed of dragging myself out of bed three days a week for a challenging two whole hours of classes. Mentally running the past six weeks over in my mind, the culprit slowly became clear, ah yes, the Thursday seminar.
The problem is, in an environment as lethargic as university, it is wholly acceptable to justify any wrongdoings academically with the most pathetic excuse possible, such as, ‘Well I’ve been to that lecture for the last three weeks running, isn’t it perhaps time I deserved a break?’ or ‘I’ve missed everything else this week, surely its’ better just to continue with it and then really knuckle down next week?’ Unfortunately these excuses seem to come without too much thought these days, and funnily enough are readily available at nine o’ clock when your alarm clock cuts through a hangover.
In all fairness it wasn’t actually my fault (excuse alert). Thursday mornings haven’t actually been a good time for me all year. The first Thursday seminar I missed I really did have a very good excuse; I was begging our landlord not to evict us after our neighbours called him complaining about our ‘small gathering’ that may or may not have got slightly out of hand the previous evening, and of course, as I need somewhere to live and I was the only one awake to deal with it, it does make a perfectly logical reason to miss the seminar.
The week after that however I did indeed attend in full spirits, ready to make up what I had missed, with all 196 pages of The Catcher in the Rye stored away in my memory, only to meet a class full of the most sour-faced, miserable wretches I have ever met, headed by this submissive, half-hippie teacher, and not the good hippie kind like my senior school English teacher who read the book like totally stoned and then talks about how it like totally spoke to them, no no, the other kind, the kind who spent a decade stoned and now nothing means anything to them. If that class was a colour it would have been like totally grey man.
Let me explain what a seminar is meant to consist of. It should be the lecturer or teacher prompting a discussion with some insightful question concerning the set reading that provokes a lively and/or intellectual debate amongst the students. I am of the opinion that, if at twenty years old and on an English course at a successful university, you are too shy to spit out a measly line citing some GCSE reference to the form or context of a novel, then you aren’t really going far in life. For an hour, I was the only one who spoke, bar the lecturer, who like totally appreciated my input man. I left wondering why I had disentangled myself from the comfort of my bed. You can see perhaps why I was not motivated to go back.
In my defence, (more excuses ahead) I have actually done all the work, and, believe it or not, background research. I have also attended pretty much all of my other lectures and seminars. The problem is, those ones inspire me, I enjoy them, whereas on the days of a Thursday Grey Day, lets face it, I’d rather stay in bed.